… and I’ll be gone, gone tonight

the story of my life… yes, yes I know that they are both lyrics and not only that, but lyrics from a One Direction song. But don’t give up yet. As a 47 year old woman the lyric part isn’t completely unusual for me at all – the One Direction part is extremely rare. Maybe I can blame the fact that I’m a high school math teacher and I hear the girlies lovin on them or something… I don’t know. Actually, I really like the song… oh well. I’m a lyric gal. 

In all fairness I’m truly just a mess and all over the place for a 47 year old woman. It was my therapist who suggested I start blogging. It’s only taken him 8+ years to suggest it. But that’s another story… I’ll try to avoid it. No one really wants to hear therapy sessions rehashed – that’s what the session was for in the first place. 

…. so, 47 going on 48. Three very failed marriages… high school math teacher – math because it’s what I “could” do and teaching because it’s what I “wanted” to do. I have a pretty serious mental disorder that I have denied every day of my life even though I take the medicine they assure me that will help and go through every motion they suggest. I have normal – not sure that word should actually exist but if it did it’d apply here – parents. I have a basset hound that defies all basset hound characteristics and/or stereotypes which is an issue because I really wanted a lazy sort of pet… but she’s cute. … and I live life. 

I live a lot through quotes – ie; lyrics – of others because I’ve never really had the confidence to believe in what I come up with entirely on my own unless I’m in the classroom. For some reason, once I walk through the doors of the school – if I can – I’m the person I really think I was intended to be my whole life. It’s the getting there that has become such an issue these days. 

…. hmmm…. guess that’s what I’ve got to start with today. Keep on keepin on.